Sunday, November 09, 2008

The Tooth Fairy

Seventeen fairies were excitedly clustered around a small wooden table. Their wings glimmered with the blue of the ocean and the warm colors of leaves on a crisp autumn morning as they flitted back and forth. Infinitesimal necklaces of mother-of-pearl hung from their necks, the tiny, buttery beads iridescent against their pale skin.

One of the fairies was sitting at the smooth, chocolate-colored table with a fountain pen and scrolls. The parchment crackled as she scribbled frantically on it, the thick creamy paper entirely covered with calligraphy writing. The fairy, was, as everyone knew, the fabled Tooth Fairy, who lived in a milky white palace made entirely out of children’s teeth.

Being one of the most finicky queens in all of fairy history, she conducted daily examinations of her kingdom to make sure everything was in pristine condition. The drawbridge had to bisect the moat exactly into two pieces. After a celebration or feast, the palace was to be remitted and cleaned until it was back to its original state. All the teeth had to be sparkling clean and glued together without any excess paste or spaces. According to the Tooth Fairy, even a miniscule hole between two teeth could lead to a cavernous aperture big enough to hold a whole human child inside. The most important rule in the queen’s realm was that everyone must brush their teeth- even the clever ogres at Beast Woods who never bothered to use proper utensils when eating and ripped the meat off their prey with their fang-like teeth.

As everyone loathed the Tooth Fairy (and especially her contradictory, paradoxical remarks), all the citizens of the queen’s land eagerly awaited the day when their savior would finally arrive. They imagined a tall, young, good-looking hero with flyaway black hair, glasses, and a scar on his forehead. He would courageously stride into the palace and challenge the Tooth Fairy to a duel… Or maybe they were just reading too much Harry Potter.

The convention of fairies was disturbed by a loud, thunderous noise. The walls of the palace began to quaver uncontrollably, and the glass chandeliers on the ceiling trembled and swung to and fro. A short man in a top hat entered the room, and a collective whisper of “The Candy Master!” swept through the fairies. The Tooth Fairy rose to meet the intruder, her longtime adversary, and the magical creatures anxiously awaited the outcome. Some hoped that the Candy Master would win and annihilate the queen from the world, but others hoped that their mistress would kill the opponent instead.

And the sun rose and set and rose and set and once again rose and set as the two fought, until…

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